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Finding Your Inner Domme & Other Announcements

Finding Your Inner Domme & Other Announcements

Posted on Oct 22, 2009 by Goddess Sonya

I'm in bed today fighting a cold threatening to take hold of me and ruin my weekend. However, that doesn't mean I can't share my thoughts with you out there in cyber world...

Firstly, I was so excited to open my copy of DDI Magazine about to thumb through for my ad when BAM! There I am on the inside cover. I was really flattered because I think it's a close to the cover as a black woman will get (let's face it, where are the black fetish models?) and, well, it was unexpected.

Secondly, I'm going to be heading to Florida for a couple weeks of R&R. I've had a hell of a year and I've had no "Me" time since. Florida seems to be the only place I can unwind...

I often get contacted by ladies looking to get into what I do either professionally or in their private life. I find it flattering that so many women look to me for advice, even though I don't feel like I deserve such an audience. But, I think enough women have contacted me that I feel a sense of obligation to at least shed some light on what it takes to be your dominant best. Please be aware that no two answers apply to every women.

1. Embrace your sexuality...whatever that is ... Don't let your partners or prospective partners try to define or label you. Either they appreciate you for what you are and enjoy, or they can move on. Some people lack imagination, but don't let that be your problem.

2. Do your research ...read everything you can get your hands on. Immerse yourself in the literature. Search the internet for interesting groups and you'll find categories that pique your interests.

3. Find a Dom/me in your area & submit if necessary ...I know this doesn't sound intuitive, but think about it; every expert was once a student, right? It's a known fact that some of the best dom/mes have tasted the sting of the whip so-to-speak. This keen understanding helps to translate to submissives what different implements feel like and it helps them to better read their play partner/s. Be sure to do your homework and ask around for recommendations; trust your gut.

4. Do Not S(p)end Money! ... If anyone identifies their self as a lifestyle dom/me and they ask you to give them money, keep it moving. The only time money should be discussed is between a client and a Professional Dominatrix. I would nclude distance training on my no-no list because I fail to see how an inexperienced sub will grow and learn without immediate contact.

5. Don't get sucked in by a pretty face and don't let not having one limit you ...there are some terrific lifestyle dommes out there that don't "look the part" but have great credentials and can teach you a thing or two about being dominant. Follow their lead in cultivating your own persona. If you feel submitting to them will further you along do that too. But remember, just like not all beautiful sexy Pro-Dommes are good, there are lifestylers who don't know what they are doing either. Again, this is where research and instincts come into play and we women should use them to the fullest. Anyone who chooses (that's right, it's a choice) to play with you will appreciate you for your skill and your aura, not because you look like you stepped out of the pages of Bizaare or Marquis Magazine.

...I've gotta take a nap so this is to be continued...

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