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Be My Table: More Confessions of an Incurable Fetishist

Be My Table: More Confessions of an Incurable Fetishist

Posted on Sep 14, 2011 by Contributor

The list of fetishes, paraphilias, and alternative sexpractices is already quite long, but it seems to be getting longer by theminute. Human imagination is restless, and when it comes to sex, the sky is thelimit. Some of these preferences, like face fetishism check out our previouspost about it seem to have a humanizing effect. If fetishism, like SigmundFreud defined it, consists in being sexually aroused by a specific object, orby a specific body part, then being aroused by the face keeps us more aware ofthe fact that were interacting with another person than, lets say, beingaroused by stilettos, or by the smell of sweaty armpits. However, other formsof fetishism seem to have the opposite effect: they are dehumanizing, and theystress the fact that, ultimately, fetishism is about establishing a sexualconnection with an object or fluid, smell, taste, etc.
This dehumanizing effect of certain fetishes is notnecessarily something negative, because some of us actually enjoy beingobjectified in the most literal sense of the word. Amongst the practices ofturning people into objects for mutual sexual pleasure, one stands out, becauseits artsy, sexy, and has only recently been named: forniphilia, the art ofturning people into human furniture.
The practice itself is really old. Having a servant work asa table or a footstool has been the delight of Masters, Lords and Femdoms forages. However, nowadays more people are viewing the act of turning someone intoa piece of furniture as a goal in and of itself. Turning a woman into a table,having her at your disposal, immobilized, is the ultimate form of possession.Besides, if her pussy and mouth are exposed, you will enjoy the convenience of havinga table you can actually fuck, and she will be delighted to have been turned intosomething as useful as a human fuckable table. And, most certainly, a full setof male pieces of furniture make an ideal decoration for every Mistresssintimate chamber. A human armchair, for reclining, a human footstool, and ahuman coffee table are perfect for relaxing: who needs servants, when you canhave the latest set of intelligent furniture at your disposal?
Some forms of forniphilia are very sophisticated or complicated,to be honest. For example, Jeff Gord, who is credited for coining the termforniphilia not for inventing the practice because, like I mentioned, it hasexisted for centuries believes it is the ultimate artistic expression.According to him, it requires a tremendous skill to turn a fine material like awoman into a piece of furniture; and if you thought all that effort wouldreward men with winning the battle of the sexes, think again: a female chair,especially a well-crafted one, ends up turning its maker into its worshiper.
Another take on forniphilia is the one followed by Spanishvisual artist David Blazquez. In 2009, he designed a full set of male pieces offurniture, including tables, lamps, ironing boards and bookshelves, using a handfulof male models as his materials. After using them for a while, he photographthem, and turned the pictures into an art show. His photographs have been shownin galleries around the world, and theyre particularly popular among gay maleinterior designers.
But beyond these extravagant expressions of forniphilia liesthe simple, unsophisticated and age-old pleasure of turning your lover into auseful object. Almost everybody has fantasized about having someone at his orher entire disposal, and not few devoted lovers enjoy being useful. Why notsatisfy this mutual fantasy by redecorating the bedroom with a piece of humanfurniture for one night? Theres nothing wrong with objectifying someone, aslong as this person enjoys being objectified. In any case, forniphilia isanother one of those fetishes that may sound exotic at first, until you realizeyou probably have already turned that special someone into a special something. Besides, what fetishist wouldturn down a table or a lamp you can actually have sex with? Forniphilia can befun. Embrace your fetish, and start redecorating.

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